They Call Me The Dream Chaser

Once again I'm guilty of being inactive on my blog, I'm going to try to do something about that. These days I've been rather busy, I did a couple photo shoots, fashion shows and even some singing. Let's start from the beginning:

I answered a casting call on ModelMayhem from RadBe Photography, a Bajan born photographer based in Connecticut. We met up at the (abandoned) Almond Beach Hotel where we did a casual fashion shoot. It was great working with Rad, not only did he embrace my craziness.. he took the time to find out my weaknesses and worked very hard in helping me overcome them. We climbed arch structures, braved mosquitoes, crawled and shot silhouettes in the setting sun. Hard work always pays off and here are a few photos from the finished product:

  

I had also gotten two photos from my previous shoot with my friend, Franz Gittens. After our first shoot, we decide to do another shoot but being that I didn't bring any other clothes, I had to improvise. Hope you like them!

Photographer: Franz Gittens

Photographer: Franz Gittens

Recently, I auditioned for the PHOTACC panel to become part of their model base. I walked at the Small Business Association's "Fashion Show" and the Saint Philip's Constituency Council Annual Trade Show's "Fashion Show". I collaborated with amazing designers such as Orlando Williams, owner of LindaBelle Creations and Designs, talented make-up artistes (Anansah and Alfie Litcot) and amazing models, whom I hope to work again with in the near future. Shemara Morris was one in particular, a single mother and aspiring model whom I became fast friends with. She's confident, beautiful, a trend setter and not afraid to stand for what she believes in even if it means standing alone. She has a smile that would light up an entire room not to mention a walk that makes everyone in the room stop what they are doing and pay attention. She makes her presence known and I have a feeling she will make an impact in the fashion world for petite models. Here's to making dreams come true!

Model: Shemara Morris

Photographer: Risee Chadderton

Girl Next Door Publication

Inspirational Quote: " All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them." - Walt Disney

Signing Out,

Xilomen

For The Love Of Modeling...

Recently, I've been busy enjoying my summer to the fullest, which also included photo-shooting. It all started when a photographer friend of mine asked me to come down to his studio to help him test of his equipment. So at 10 pm, we were at the studio with another close photographer friend of mine, Darren Williams. Who was kind of enough to assist on the shoot and he was very helpful :). Earlier in the evening, I had a make-up practical done on me by a classmate at SJPP, so all there was to do was change my clothes and strap on my heels. Without further ado, here's the finished product that I have received:

Photographer: Franz Gittens

Assistant: Darren Williams

Model: Ronelle King

Make-Up Artiste: Unknown

Photographer: Franz Gittens

Assistant: Darren Williams

Model: Ronelle King

Make-Up Artiste: Unknown

Photographer: Franz Gittens

Assistant: Darren Williams

Model: Ronelle King

Make-Up Artiste: Unknown

I found them both pleasurable to work with and I'd do it again if the opportunity were to arise once more. I really enjoyed myself and one could see that from my second photo. What I like most about that photo is that there are hardly any photos of me smiling. Personally, I'm not one to take photos of myself or let others do so but when I'm on set being made up and changed into clothing... there's something about that process that makes me love it. As well as the artistic side of it but I'll get into that another time. Let's just say that after my first shoot which was with Photographer Dave Cox, I've been addicted to being in front the camera (modeling) ever since.

My second shoot was with Photographer Andrew Browne at the beach and that was a short and interesting shoot. There has been only ever once I've had to take directions from a photographer and Andrew succeeded in giving me them well. We got along absolutely fine, when I arrived we took some photos in what I had worn and then I had to change which required me to run across the road and into a family friend's home in order to change because the beach's bathroom was locked. I did it quite fast and I was rather proud of myself. Of all the photos we took.. this is the one I love the most:

Photographer: Andrew Browne

Make-Up Artiste: Ronelle King

Model: Ronelle King

What I adore about this photo is the innocence that it portrays, I usually one to be taking 'fierce' photos and its nice to see a smiling photo or a 'soft' photo in this case every once in a while. In this photo and the others above you can see that I got a second piercing and that I dyed my hair ... again, which I'll tell you guys all about as well as other 'changes' in a post coming soon #CreatingXilomen. Thank you so 'accompanying' me  on my journey and I hope you've been enjoying it so far...

Inspirational quote: "Every day do something that will inch you closer to a better tomorrow" - Doug Firebaugh

Published Dreams

A while back, I entered the Kurama Magazine's 'Personal Style Challenge', it was a competition among models all over the Caribbean to see whose photo could gain the most likes in order to be featured in the magazine. Each model was expected to wear an outfit that best portrayed their unique sense of style and personality. Along with being featured in the magazine, the winner would have received a gift basket of skin care products compliments of Mixology Skincare.

I entered my first ever photoshoot photo taken by the talented Benjamin Drakes. It was a nerve wracking and learning experience to say the least but I'm very proud of myself for having the courage to enter. Congratulations to the winner! :)

Photographer: Benjamin Drakes

Make-Up Artiste: Helene Headley

Hair Stylist: Junelle Skeete-Wilkinson

Model: Ronelle King

Inspirational Quote: "Fight so hard that even fate accepts defeat" - Unknown

Who Am I?

Often we take for granted who we really are, trying our entire lives to fit in when we were born to stand out.

All my life I've been trying to be someone I'm not. I can see it in the walk, the way I talk, the way I laugh, my posture, my antics, etc. Everything I am is a reflection of every person I wish I could be. Being to harsh on myself, wondering why I don't look like this person and why I'm not shaped like that person. Succumbing to peer pressure by doing things I wouldn't dream of doing. Blaming everyone who has ever done me wrong and not realising I've been doing "wrong" to myself as well.

I'm not appreciating who I am, not loving who I am, realising that I am beautiful JUST the way I am and that I live my life, NOT the people who try to change me.

No one's opinion about myself is greater than mine. Yes. Sometimes I have trouble remembering that but that's all in the learning process.

Music has played a very important part of my life and these three songs, "Who You are - Jessie J", "Price Tag - Jessie J ft B.O.B" & "Fucking Perfect - P!nk" have influenced me greatly... as well as many others.

"Who You Are"

I stare at my reflection in the mirror:
"Why am I doing this to myself?"
Losing my mind on a tiny error,
I nearly left the real me on the shelf.
No, no, no, no, no...

Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars!
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay.
Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are!
(who you are [x11])

Everybody hurt some days and its okay to be afraid. I cant think of harming myself or being self destructive everytime the going gets too tough or as though i felt as if i've had enough. The race is long, its hard... no one said it'll be easy but in the end it worth it.

"Fucking Perfect"

Made a wrong turn, once or twice
Dug my way out, blood and fire
Bad decisions, that's alright
Welcome to my silly life

Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss, no way it's all good, it didn't slow me down
Mistaken, always second guessing
Underestimated, look, I'm still around

Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing you are perfect to me

You're so mean when you talk
About yourself, you are wrong
Change the voices in your head
Make them like you instead

So complicated, look how big you'll make it
Filled with so much hatred, such a tired game
It's enough, I've done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons, see you do the same

This song basically is the soundtrack of my life. I allowed them to get the better of me, make me feel worthless but no more. No matter how hard they try to tear me down... I'll make it because I've got it in me to succeed.

Its time to re-invent myself and show the world who I am and what I'm made of. Every second is a passing chance to start over, to try, to do something with my life. Its also a chance a make an impact in this world. Can you feel it? I know I can.

"So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable. - Christopher Reeve"


Signing out,

Xilomen <3
Muah!

In The Land Of Opportunities

I'm currently doing my Advanced Nail Technology Course, yay! Its going great so far... Getting to class is such a struggle. I've got to walk with a suitcase down the hill and all of Ximena's stuff because he wont come for her, that's not even the funniest part... he lives 5 minutes away. Soon this will all be worth it, when i'm successful in achieving my life goals. I got a call from SJPP today, -err- yesterday, I got into the Basic Massage Therapy Course which starts in April. I'm looking forward to that, #AnotherLifeGoal to be completed. I applied to do a full-time course as well, 'Esthetics', but that doesn't start till August/September; so I decided I would do a part-time course that I was also interested in which will finish in June. I honestly dont have time to waste anymore... every day that goes by, life goes on... i dont want to be left behind.

Ximena has been doing well, she has been saying a few words and phrases like, "give me", she knows the sign language for "where does it hurt?" in reference to an 'owwie'. She outgrew another shoe size, pamper size as well as clothing size. She's grows so fast! I'm teaching her how to feed herself with a spoon and fork; that has been easier than I thought it would be.

Activity for the month: I'm counting down the days till UWI Carnival (KadUWIval), I've got my costume, my boots and all I'm ready for is March 24th! The next day I have to carry Ximena to The World Kids Fair, there she'll have her fair share of fun. :)

Well that's all for now... I'm so exhausted. 

Inspirational Quote: When you want something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done.

What's On My Mind

I've been awfully busy trying to piece back together my life... a lot has happened since I last posted here. I intend to return but the words aren't flowing like they used to. I guess that's what happens when life decides to make your life more eventful than it needs to be. To be continued....

Purple Hearts On A Cloud

My boyfriend recently returned from overseas and to be honest.. I couldn't be happier because I really missed him. His mum also returned from NYC a while ago, also bringing with her some ADORABLE outfits for Ximena. Thank You! <3 :).

 Ximena absolutely loves them and I'm pretty sure she can't wait to wear them all. The little dolly adores dressing up and I like dressing her as well. She can't help but to run her fingers through her hair as soon as I've finished styling it. Its as though she's feeling it and making a mental note of the style in her tiny mind and to confirm my theory... she smiles, turns around, gives me a big hug and slides off the bed so that she could show off her new hair style to her Grandmother and Aunty. Its those moments that make me feel warm inside... I can't imagine life without her. On this particular day, she was watching her daily half hour (only!) of Dora the Explorer. I try to limit her use of the television, I don't want to encourage her in being a couch potato so I incorporated a routine which involves a healthy amount of stimulation. I take her for a walk as well as take her for a push in her stroller on the boardwalk. Ximena doesn't find this to mundane as she is fascinated with nature. She could sit  for an hour just watching the trees and flowers, feeling the wind against her face and not to mention, watching the ocean. She gets so excited when she sees them, sometimes she can't contain her excitement. Her eyes light up, she claps while stamping and squeals! :) Its so wonderful to watch. Anyways, so on this day, we went for a drive which Xixi thoroughly enjoyed.

 She pointed to people and cars on the other side of the window, occasionally waved back at those who tried to engage her in baby talk and as all mobile babies get... she got restless from being stuck in traffic so she began to cry. I tried to explain to her that its against the law to take a baby out of its carseat as it is a precautionary device but she just rolled her eyes and blew a raspberry at me. -_____- Knowing that she wouldn't understand and using my maternal instinct; I retrieved the container of finger food that I usually pack for Ximena as a way to prevent her from getting hungry before her second meal of the day. Often Ximena makes herself hungry by running around constantly thus working up an appetite, in the event of that happening, 1 give her 10 pieces and some juice. However, she fell asleep while we were on our way to Lantern's Mall. I took out the stroller as Ximena no longer weighs as much as a feather, (and that's the nice way to put it :P). She wasn't too thrilled to be in it but she didn't make a fuss either. As we pushed her around the mall, she marveled at the strange faces staring back at her but I believe what excited her the most was the ride we took on the transparent elevator. Its not the first time she's been on it but it still grabs her attention.

We immediately strolled (no pun intended!) to KrackerJack Kidz, where we were flooded with hundreds of gift ideas to purchase for Ximena's First Christmas. On the topic of Xi's First Christmas, her godmother bought a bib that is delightfully GORGEOUS! Thank you! <3 :) I'm positive that Ximena will be ecstatic when she receives it, Kiira. We're sending lots of love your way, XOXOXOXO!!!!!

 Afterwards, we got something to eat before returning to the elevator to make our way downstairs. In the corner, I spotted a new 'joy-ride' that I thought Ximena would be interested in. At first, she kept clinging on to me and refused to let go, so I had to distract her with the steering wheel. When she focused her attention on 'driving' the plane, I reached over and placed a dollar into the slot. You should have seen her face when the plane began to move, priceless! I switched with my sister to record her first time riding it but its only when I got home that I realised that my phone was on idle all of that time so I had zip, nada, zero... NOTHING. :( Luckily, we returned two days later on Roshana's last day of school (as you can see she's wearing a school uniform in the video), where I was able to record it for keepsake. However, before we  took Ximena 'joy-riding' again, we went for walk on the boardwalk where I watched a man catch 'Sprats' and if that wasn't bad enough, my mom stood there long enough for me to watch them all flop to death. -___- I am now mentally scarred because of it, those poor little fishies. Sigh!

Fast forwarding a bit, Ximena is saying a few words and phrases, besides her normal rant of "baba", "nana, "gam-gam", "dada" and "mama"; she has added, "Where dada?", "Xixi" and "Yes", along with others to her repertoire. She makes me so proud! I mean, she's not perfect but she's not the worst... she does have her moments like any normal child. My biggest challenge is weaning her and stopping her from throwing tantrums. The more I try to wean her, the more she breastfeeds. Sometimes I believe it pointless because she doesn't drink formula and I've tried practically everything. I have yet to try soy milk or Similac Go & Grow Toddler Formula but I don't have much hope for that knowing Xi. Next on the milestone list, Xi is growing 4 more teeth! One is about to burst but the other three are getting there.... ahhh, I'm so psyched! She's biting everything... well, I mean her fingers, teether, bottles, etc. She's also climbing, which has made me very paranoid because she has a preference whereas her climbing is concerned.... Tables. Yeah, I said it, Tables! Of all the things... tables. Sigh! Anyways, time to wrap this up as I am very exhausted.

(Watching Dora)

(Refusing to let go)

(Putting dollar into slot)

(She realised what I did, darn!)

(Getting accustomed)

(Bleh! It's blurry)

(Concentrating) 

(The beautiful bib her Godmother bought)

(Ximena having the time of her life)

Inspirational Quote: "Growing up is losing some illusions, in order to acquire others." - Virginia Woolf 

Signing Out,

<3