Monday, October 31, 2011

Nail It!

Yet again I've been caught up in my busy life to blog. My daughter took her first 8 steps, yay! She even clapped for herself, ha ha! She's too adorable... :) Her top teeth grew out some more so you can actually see them, -does a joyful dance-, the biggest problem I face is brushing them. -___-' The little bundle of energy would not let me brush her top teeth, the bottom is another thing, she even gets the toothbrush for me! :o

After being so 'busy' during the day, you would think she sleeps at night... well you thought wrong. I practically have to beg her to sleep, and then she would give me her usually mischievous grin before continuing what she was doing. I'd then have to fill up the bath tub and fill it with water for her bubble bath, grab her bath toys and engage her in an active splish splash adventure to exhaust her (ha ha) and read to her a Walt Disney 'Peek-A-Boo' book (which so happens to be her favourite) so that she can turn in for bed. She better love me forever for all this hard work that she makes me do!

Yesterday I gave my mom a pedicure and a manicure, after setting up and practically waiting for nearly half the day.... I finally did them.

My mom is a very selective person, she doesn't like bright colours, well I should say... TOO MANY bright colours. She very neutral, plain jane average.... but it works for her! November is the month of Independence (Barbados) so she wanted to be patriotic, therefore, she requested ours national colours which are blue (specifically ultramarine), gold (some people say yellow, but its really gold) and black. I wanted to impress her as well as put my all into my work. 1). She did pay for me to go to cosmetology classes and she did pay for my CXC ART exam as well as provide all the materials for both. 2). She's my mom, I want to make her proud. I want her to have the best of the best, in whatever service I offer. I didn't want to be a disappointment so I really had to scratch my thinking cap extremely hard.

I used milky base coat from 'Pro Nail' to protect the nail, two layers of White Pearl and drew the Broken Trident with my dotting tool using Gothic Black. I then decorated the free edge, the base of the nail as well at the sides of the nail plate with colour-inconsistent dots using Electric Blue and Yellow Submarine from Slick before finishing with Quick Dry Top Coat from Pro Nail. This design was for both thumbs as well as both of her Halluxes (big toes), however on the rest of her toes I did three polka dots using the same colours on each toe. On her fingers, I used each colour to make one polka dot in a horizontal pattern because as i previously said, she prefers simplicity. Here is the final outcome:


(Fingers - Thumb missing)

Note: You are free to try this design at home, please do not take credit for my work as I worked very hard on executing this. Thank you very much. :)

These are the products I used:

In Memory of Val
I named this after my uncle whom I lost in February of 2007, his nickname was Val (I don't know where he got it from). Jason (Jayson as he spelled it) was an inspiration to me and still is. His birthday is on Independence Day (30th of November), he would have been 25 this year. He was my big brother, my best friend, my confidant and I wished like mad that he was here.

I miss him terribly; he used to make me laugh, tease me and I could tell him anything. He was unique, i'm not saying that because he was my uncle... he truly was. Oh, and he loved a car! Ha ha, he was obsessed. I have fond memories of us playing my Nintendo 64 and Playstation 1 & 2, sometimes if I was lucky... he'd let me win :). He always spoke to me about the upcoming Playstation 3 and how he was saving to buy one, unfortunately he never lived long enough to see it. When I bought mine, it was a bittersweet feeling. He was wasn't there to play it with me but at least one of us got one. I remember how he would always 'predict' the outcome of the cartoons or movies we watched, I thought he was a magician, little did I know that he had watched it before me, ha ha. His usual reply to my queries were, "A magician never reveals his secrets."
He was an artist, I remember his clay sculptures, still life drawings and his many DragonBallZ drawings that he stuck onto his door. I used to sit and admire them, take my tracing paper and try to recreate them for hours. When I did Art at CXC level, I hoped that I could be just like him and have his talent. In his last days, we used to walk from my house to Roebuck Street to buy chinese food on a daily basis after work/school respectively so that we could talk. I was always excited to see him and never turned down our daily walk. I'd give anything to be able to see him walk through my door now. I'd run to him like how I used to as a child, jump on his back and wrap my arms around his neck when he has turned around to close the door. He fell for it everytime...:) I've since gotten over the anger my heart held due to the shock of his death and have forgiven the people who had murdered him. I hope he is proud of me and all I have accomplished so far. In memory of the best uncle ever, Jason. O. A. Harding. <3

About The Flag Of Barbados

The national flag of Barbados was officially adopted on 30 November 1966, the island's first Independence Day. It consists of a triband of two bands of ultramarine separated by a golden middle band. A black trident-head (commonly called the "broken trident") is centred within the golden band. The flag was designed by local art teacher Grantley Prescod, and was chosen from around 1000 designs after an island-wide contest.
The two blue bands are said to stand for the ocean, while the gold is for the sand on the island. The trident is taken from the old colonial badge, which showed Britannia holding a trident, the broken lower part symbolizes a symbolic break with its historical and constitutional ties as a former colony. The three points of the trident represent the three principles of democracy - government of, for, and by the people.
The official British Standard colour code numbers for the flag are: Ultramarine — BCC 148 Gold — BS O/002

Here is something to think about....

Inspirational quote : We do not choose to be born. We do not choose our parents. We do not choose our historical epoch, the country of our birth, or the immediate circumstances of our upbringing. We do not, most of us, choose to die; nor do we choose the time, and conditions of our death. But within this realm of choicelessness, we do choose how we live - unknown

Signing Out,

Monday, October 10, 2011

Blinded Butterflies

I've been contemplating beauty for a long time now.
What is beauty? True beauty? Is it from within?

My whole life people have been telling me their perception of beauty, my beauty.
I've heard it all, from the size of my bust, my butt, my height, my complexion, and the list can go on.
For that same period, I've been trying to correct these 'flaws' of mine, basically living my life to please other people.
Not being able to leave home without piling on a pound of makeup because of my low self esteem.
Not wanting to go to school because I was afraid that I'd be bullied at school.
Counting the minutes in the bus until i'm able to get off the bus and be rid of the daily sexual harassment.

But no more.

No more, listening to people who know nothing about my life and me as a individual.
No more second guessing myself, doubting that I can achieve my goals.
No more wishing and praying that I was anyone but myself.
Thinking I'm my own worst enemy.

Anne Bronte once said, "It is foolish to wish for beauty. Sensible people never either desire it for themselves or care about it in others. If the mind be well cultivated, and the heart well disposed, no one ever cares for the exterior.

Why sit and waste my days contemplating if I'm beautiful enough for other people. Screw what others think, as most would say, "I was born alone and I will die alone."
What people call beautiful is a matter of opinion not fact. Some people may believe that a certain person is more beautiful than that another person. THAT is opinion. What IS fact? That you and I are beautiful people despite what other people may think.

A woman who cannot be ugly is not beautiful - Karl Kraus
I can leave home without make up on, my hair pulled in a ponytail, a sweatpants, a t-shirt and a pair of flip-flops and still feel beautiful. Because I am comfortable in my skin, I don't want to be anyone else but me anymore. God made me from his own image.

It's important for all types of women to know that you don't have to fit a prototype of what one person think is beautiful in order to be beautiful or feel beautiful... People think, sexy, big breasts, curvy body, no cellulite. it's not that. Take the girl at the beach with the cellulite legs, wearing her bathing suit the way she like it, walking with a certain air, comfortable with herself. That woman is sexy. Then you see the perfect girl who's really thin, tugging at her bathing suit, wondering how her hair looks. That's not sexy. - Jennifer Lopez, Reader's Digest, Aug 2003.
Beauty is embracing what you see as 'flaws'.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder - Margaret Hungerford

The person who views you as not beautiful is a beholder, but you are also a beholder. :)
Forget what they think of you. Believe what you think of yourself and that are beautiful.
Confidence is the greatest cosmetic an individual could wear. People can see it. Its impossible to miss, THAT is what turns heads.

Physical beauty fades, it is temporary. That's not what I want, I want permanent beauty, everlasting beauty. Focusing on the physical is just simply disguising a horrible person. Sure, I'd turn heads when I walk past but that doesn't take away from the fact that I'm selfish, stuck up and ignorant on the inside. This can be compared to an apple; imagine.... a ripe apple, polish red, practically glowing. You want this apple and you get it. You take a bite, only to find out that its bad. Disappointed? Of course you are.

Beauty itself soon fades, and when a woman has beauty and nothing else, well, it's like putting all the goods in the shop window, isn't it? And the moment she loses her good looks - poor creature! What is she? Just a mere bit of faded finery to be thrown aside. - Henry Arthur Jones
I see beauty as having a good heart, to be able to sit with infected people without scorn, to offer your seat in the bus to someone who needs it more, to help the old lady at the bus stop board the bus with all of her groceries, to volunteer your services at a charity, to counsel children about the dangers of drugs and alcohol, to be able to smile genuinely, to apologise and mean it.

Beauty without grace is the hook without the bait - Ralph Waldo Emerson
I want to grow old with a face full of wrinkles, and still see myself a beautiful because I know that I achieved my dreams, saw the beauty in others including myself, raised my children to the best of my ability, made peace with those who hurt me and those whom I have hurt and have no regrets.

Some people no matter how old they get, never lose their beauty - they merely move it from their faces into their hearts - Martin Buxbaum
True beauty is all around you, you can find it in a child's eyes. Perhaps in your favourite dress, the way the designer made it, the thought that was put into that piece of clothing, the stitching, the way it flows.... That is beauty. It can be in the meal your mom or dad cooked for you today, it can be what someone said today.

Scarlett Johansson once said in a Seventeen Magazine article (May 2007), "I find beauty in unusual things, like hanging your head out the window or sitting on a fire escape."
When you pay attention you can find the beauty is all the things around you.

"Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it. - Confucius
I dare you to see it and I also dare you to be beautiful. ;)

Inspirational quote: "Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams." - Ashley Smith

Signing out,

Sunday, October 9, 2011


I haven't been on lately and I've had a bit of writer's block due to my depression.
I find that I let a lot of things get to me, and I think about them (over-analyse) and then I get depressed.

I haven't had a lot to say on twitter so I was not tweeting either but I'd happy to announce that I've been raping twitter for the past week, ha ha. I've also started updating my tumblr, this internet connection is so slow, sigh.

A lot has happened in these past few weeks, I started school at Praise Academy Of Dance to pursue my acting career in film and passed my basic Nail Tech course....yay!

So far at PAD  (lol, you noticed it too, eh?), I've learned about camera angles, shots and basic editing. Its a whole lot harder than it looks, trust me! Because of this I have this new found respect for photographers, I don't know how you do it but I admire you. :)

I also would like to restart vocal training, I had this 'UH-MAY-ZING' vocal trainer by the name of Indra Rudder. She's so talented and so down to earth, I adore her. Early this year she won a Barbados Music Award and I was so proud, her speech was priceless, ha ha. I do hope she can find the time to fit me into her busy schedule.

Ximena, (my daughter) is already 8 months and just a bundle of energy. She's growing up so fast, crawling and trying to walk. These are the best days and I've got a feeling that these are the days that I am going to miss most. <3

In terms of modeling, I've got some upcoming shoots which have been a blast to plan, I can't wait!

My dreams are bursting at the seams, ahhh! Everyday I get a little bit closer, I'm so pysched!

Inspirational quote: The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Signing out!