Thursday, April 5, 2012

Who Am I?

Often we take for granted who we really are, trying our entire lives to fit in when we were born to stand out.

All my life I've been trying to be someone I'm not. I can see it in the walk, the way I talk, the way I laugh, my posture, my antics, etc. Everything I am is a reflection of every person I wish I could be. Being to harsh on myself, wondering why I don't look like this person and why I'm not shaped like that person. Succumbing to peer pressure by doing things I wouldn't dream of doing. Blaming everyone who has ever done me wrong and not realising I've been doing "wrong" to myself as well.

I'm not appreciating who I am, not loving who I am, realising that I am beautiful JUST the way I am and that I live my life, NOT the people who try to change me.

No one's opinion about myself is greater than mine. Yes. Sometimes I have trouble remembering that but that's all in the learning process.

Music has played a very important part of my life and these three songs, "Who You are - Jessie J", "Price Tag - Jessie J ft B.O.B" & "Fucking Perfect - P!nk" have influenced me greatly... as well as many others.

"Who You Are"

I stare at my reflection in the mirror:
"Why am I doing this to myself?"
Losing my mind on a tiny error,
I nearly left the real me on the shelf.
No, no, no, no, no...

Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars!
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay.
Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are!
(who you are [x11])

Everybody hurt some days and its okay to be afraid. I cant think of harming myself or being self destructive everytime the going gets too tough or as though i felt as if i've had enough. The race is long, its hard... no one said it'll be easy but in the end it worth it.

"Fucking Perfect"

Made a wrong turn, once or twice
Dug my way out, blood and fire
Bad decisions, that's alright
Welcome to my silly life

Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss, no way it's all good, it didn't slow me down
Mistaken, always second guessing
Underestimated, look, I'm still around

Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing you are perfect to me

You're so mean when you talk
About yourself, you are wrong
Change the voices in your head
Make them like you instead

So complicated, look how big you'll make it
Filled with so much hatred, such a tired game
It's enough, I've done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons, see you do the same

This song basically is the soundtrack of my life. I allowed them to get the better of me, make me feel worthless but no more. No matter how hard they try to tear me down... I'll make it because I've got it in me to succeed.

Its time to re-invent myself and show the world who I am and what I'm made of. Every second is a passing chance to start over, to try, to do something with my life. Its also a chance a make an impact in this world. Can you feel it? I know I can.

"So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable. - Christopher Reeve"

Signing out,

Xilomen <3


  1. So i love this! OMG i read the about me section and you gained my fullllllll respect. I'm gonna keep following girl and reading up!

  2. Thank you hun, this really means a lot :)